As early as I can remember, I’ve been told to be the bigger person.
When I had shady siblings who mistreated me, my father told me “Be the bigger person, they’re just jealous.”
When my Husband caused me emotional stress, his mother told me “Be the bigger person, Women mature faster than Men.”
When I felt like I had been mistreated at work, once again a “helpful” voice chimed in with a suggestive, “Be the bigger person, it’s not worth making an issue out of it.”
But what none of those people ever explained to me was why. Why should I constantly allow myself to be subjected to flawed behavior from adults who should be just as accountable as I am expected to be?
Then I got angry.
Angry at the sister who only called when it was convenient.
Angry at the father who fell short. Angry at the man with jars of broken promises.
Angry at the boss who’d fed me lies.
And the most angry towards the woman in the mirror who had allowed it all to happen to her.
It became a seething bitterness, festering in the deepest parts of my soul and manifesting itself as uncontrollable mood swings and paranoia. I fell out, broke bonds, held grudges, and was as “savage” as I could be in some situations. Definitely said more than a few things I wish I could take back, and certainly a lived a few moments I wish I could redo.
That was then though.
I haven’t figured out how to completely release myself from the holds of anger, but I have figured out one very key component to keeping it together.
KEY: Most of life’s stress is caused by how you react to situations. Change your perspective, change your life.
I have been actively manifesting this truth and hoping that I can become a better person through it all. But this journey is one that begins with self-reflection, accountability, and willingness to forgive those who may not be apologetic. Often it requires a level of focus and intent, that I fear may escape me.
I find myself deeply intimidated by the woman I would like to be.
None the less, each and every day is an opportunity to make a change. A fresh moment to fill with love and understanding, because after all, don’t we all just want to be understood? As I continue to learn and experience new situations, I hope that the purpose of it all comes to reveal itself in a timely manner.