Today I chose to love my husband.
He hadn’t done anything; and being completely honest I felt like that was the problem. I felt like we weren’t doing anything “exciting” with our day.
Right. How annoying?
But as the minutes passed on and I watched him sleep, I started to think about all the things he could complain about me not doing.
I hadn’t felt like doing anything myself the past few days, and even though I was in school trying to focus on assignments, I hadn’t necessarily done anything exciting for him either.
This wasn’t my first time contemplating the ideology of self-sufficiency and happiness.
Often, I’ve realized that the expectations I have on my husband to make me happy truthfully aren’t fair to him. I know he loves me, works hard for us, and certainly tries to make me happy. But is it fair of me to constantly look to him to be the only source of happiness in my life?
Absolutely not man. Truth be told, I’ve been a little ridiculous.
Yes, I’m still learning and growing. But my age is irrelevant here, because I truly believe this is an issue most women have.
I’m not an expert by any means, but I feel confident in saying a large percentage of women in traditional relationships expect men to provide the sparks of happiness in their lives.
We hashtag, #LivingMyBestLife and #GirlsCanToo – but are we making our self confidence and self-appreciation major priorities? I don’t think so.
Being married has required a large amount of my focus to redirect to my household. Not that I mind, I’m the type of woman that wants my house spotless whether a man is living there or not. However, I want Ry to come home from a long day and be able to relax into the environment I’ve created for him.
In doing this, I think that I began to look to him for that same feeling of immersion into something he created for me. But we don’t love the same – and that isn’t a bad thing.
My husband loves in patience, providing, tender physical touch. I stimulate him mentally, comfort him physically, and allow him a place to be meek – because no one wants a hard-hearted man.
I now find it my responsibility to cater to my physical health, my inner passions, and some aspects of my spiritual growth. I realize I don’t need him to always inspire me to do those things, but rather I should rely on him to support me in flourishing outside of our immediate relationship.
Moving forward, I hope we both come to realize how we can fully support each other without compromising ourselves.
Have you ever had any issues like this in your relationship? Let me know about it!
Until next time,